18 August 2009

Today, also one of those days that is not very good. Got the news from Chef Goh saying that those who got either C or D will have to retake the exam and since it is a practical test, i have to pay extra more. I dont have much left and im wondering how am i going to pay.

I cant afford to tell my parents coz i dont want another lecture and then i wont be attending cell grp and church. I dont know what else to do. I even cried in class just now coz i couldnt believe that i did that bad in my practical class so much so that i failed.

You know something??

I always feel inferior when im with Pipit, Siew Koon, Karylan, Mandie & Deborah. Yes, they are smart but i feel that im on level 1 and they are on level 5 and i cant catch up with them coz im slow, i have this difficutly in getting stuffs into my brain and i can admit that im not that smart.

Its just really hard for me to cope but im trying my very best to climb up to the level that they are but every time, i try to, i even up either missing a step or short of a step which made me have negative thinking about myself that I AM STUPID!!!

I end up either crying for not being smart or hurting myself which kind of made me feel better for awhile. *lost of words*