Ok, i will start with what i can remember so far
25 August 2009
Received a message from Alisyah saying that Nazmi passed away. Couldnt believe, thinking it was a prank message. Tried scrolling down but couldnt. Called her up and asked her about it and she told me she heard from Hudah.
Called Apai and asked him about it and she told me that Mamat also died. I couldnt believe. It's not just good friend but 2 good friends. OMG!!! How was i supposed to take it? It's just too much for me!!!
When for Nazmi's funeral and but didnt go to the place where they bury the body. Everything is just to fast for me. These days, whenever im passing near the road and a motorbike passes me, it just remind me of Nazmi's & Mamat.
May they Rest In Peace and that may God forgive them of all their sins. Im already missing you guys soooo much and the one thing that i treasure the most is the things that you left for me which is memories and i treasure every single one of it. You guys will forever be in my heart.
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
18 August 2009
Today, also one of those days that is not very good. Got the news from Chef Goh saying that those who got either C or D will have to retake the exam and since it is a practical test, i have to pay extra more. I dont have much left and im wondering how am i going to pay.
I cant afford to tell my parents coz i dont want another lecture and then i wont be attending cell grp and church. I dont know what else to do. I even cried in class just now coz i couldnt believe that i did that bad in my practical class so much so that i failed.
You know something??
I always feel inferior when im with Pipit, Siew Koon, Karylan, Mandie & Deborah. Yes, they are smart but i feel that im on level 1 and they are on level 5 and i cant catch up with them coz im slow, i have this difficutly in getting stuffs into my brain and i can admit that im not that smart.
Its just really hard for me to cope but im trying my very best to climb up to the level that they are but every time, i try to, i even up either missing a step or short of a step which made me have negative thinking about myself that I AM STUPID!!!
I end up either crying for not being smart or hurting myself which kind of made me feel better for awhile. *lost of words*
I cant afford to tell my parents coz i dont want another lecture and then i wont be attending cell grp and church. I dont know what else to do. I even cried in class just now coz i couldnt believe that i did that bad in my practical class so much so that i failed.
You know something??
I always feel inferior when im with Pipit, Siew Koon, Karylan, Mandie & Deborah. Yes, they are smart but i feel that im on level 1 and they are on level 5 and i cant catch up with them coz im slow, i have this difficutly in getting stuffs into my brain and i can admit that im not that smart.
Its just really hard for me to cope but im trying my very best to climb up to the level that they are but every time, i try to, i even up either missing a step or short of a step which made me have negative thinking about myself that I AM STUPID!!!
I end up either crying for not being smart or hurting myself which kind of made me feel better for awhile. *lost of words*
17 August 2009
I met Aili, Hong Poh & Bernice at the mrt station and we were all going to school. When we crossed to the middle of the road, Hong Poh suddenly turned around and when i turned around, he already crossed the road the the old lady fell down coz it was slippery and it was drizzling.
Aili also crossed and my heart just drop and i was just stunned for a moment. Bernice and i crossed to help too. After helping her crossed the road, all the way till i reached school, i was like shaking. I think its coz when i see the old lady fell.
School wasnt that fun coz i got back my results for Comm Skill and when i got back the paper, i looked at my marks and i just threw the paper on the table and said that i didnt like my marks. Pipit looked at me and asked me how much i got and i showed her my results.
My mentor was saying that those who got 30 were lucky and i thought to myself, 30 lucky?? I thought the passing mark was 25 and when i looked back to check how much was the total marks, i saw that it was 60 and i was like thinking what is half of 60.
Shockingly, i didnt know the answer and had to ask Pipit. She told me that it 30 and i told her that i failed. OMG!!!! I didnt know that i would do sooo badly. I felt stupid for the rest of the day.
I even got back my transcript and the worst thing was that half the class got either C or D for their Elborate Sweets. The unexpected people got B for Elborate Sweets which is why most of us cant understand.
After class, went down to Chef Goh and she said she thought everyone pass and she said that maybe it was a mistake. She said that she will let us know tomorrow.
Tash is :(
Aili also crossed and my heart just drop and i was just stunned for a moment. Bernice and i crossed to help too. After helping her crossed the road, all the way till i reached school, i was like shaking. I think its coz when i see the old lady fell.
School wasnt that fun coz i got back my results for Comm Skill and when i got back the paper, i looked at my marks and i just threw the paper on the table and said that i didnt like my marks. Pipit looked at me and asked me how much i got and i showed her my results.
My mentor was saying that those who got 30 were lucky and i thought to myself, 30 lucky?? I thought the passing mark was 25 and when i looked back to check how much was the total marks, i saw that it was 60 and i was like thinking what is half of 60.
Shockingly, i didnt know the answer and had to ask Pipit. She told me that it 30 and i told her that i failed. OMG!!!! I didnt know that i would do sooo badly. I felt stupid for the rest of the day.
I even got back my transcript and the worst thing was that half the class got either C or D for their Elborate Sweets. The unexpected people got B for Elborate Sweets which is why most of us cant understand.
After class, went down to Chef Goh and she said she thought everyone pass and she said that maybe it was a mistake. She said that she will let us know tomorrow.
Tash is :(
Sunday, August 16, 2009
16 August 2009
Today, i went to Pipit's church which is at 81 King's Drive opposite Nanyang Kindergarden. I think it was pretty good. I did see a different side of another church and i also made new friends.
After that, went to meet my cell group at Orchard Central. Spent some time with them before we departed. Accompained Yiling & Si Jie to Plaza Sing and they were supposed to do their assignment but we ended up chatting the whole 2 hours.
Had great time with them and trying to know them more and better and they knowing me better and more which i find it good. I really want more of this and cant wait to see them next at cell group.
After that, went to meet my cell group at Orchard Central. Spent some time with them before we departed. Accompained Yiling & Si Jie to Plaza Sing and they were supposed to do their assignment but we ended up chatting the whole 2 hours.
Had great time with them and trying to know them more and better and they knowing me better and more which i find it good. I really want more of this and cant wait to see them next at cell group.
Saturday, August 15, 2009
14 August 2009
Cell group was slightly different. Lucas prayed for each and every one of us and i felt God presence. I didnt really understand what HE was showing me coz i not see blue squares and i felt that HE was pushing me. But pushing me to where, I have no idea. I really want to know more.
13 August 2009
Thursday's excrusion was pretty fun.. We not only get to know the good wines but also it's like extra hours for us after school. My teacher, Mr Jason sounded more like a wine promotor than a teacher to us. A lady even thought of that too, which was pretty funny.
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Had fun after beverage class with Mr Jason
After beverage class, we get to try the different alcohol like Whiskty, Buterscortch, Hazelnut, Rum.. Alot of stuff. We are going on a field trip with him tomorrow to know more about the different wines. YAY!!! It's gonna be fun!!!
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
This is what i get
I didnt have the mood to study and i was only flipping pages and i couldnt do mist of the short answer questions. Boo hoo hoo, blame it on my own mistake. :(
Sunday, August 9, 2009
Im trying hard to change
Today, service was great but when i enter into Church today, i felt the sense of regret and unforgiven and the only part that i struggle with was when Wei Chen asked me whether my sins were forgiven and i couldnt give him an answer coz there were sins that i cant forgive myself and i dont think that HE will forgive me. Even, if HE forgive me, i feel that i dont deserve.
God presence was there but i couldnt feel him and im drying to feel his presence again. I really want to feel his presence coz i haven been feeling his presence for quite long already.
God presence was there but i couldnt feel him and im drying to feel his presence again. I really want to feel his presence coz i haven been feeling his presence for quite long already.
Saturday, August 1, 2009
Festival Of Praise Day 1 (31 July 2009)
It was my first time going for such an event and it was really an awesome event coz i have never experience such a huge thing where the atmosphere was really unbelievable. It's like the first time i step into City Harvest.
The crowd was great and even the officers that check your bags were friendly. Church friends, i went with were awesome too. Really sang to the extend that i cough almost throughout the whole event but the end of the day, i really did enjoyed myself and that what matters the most.
Cant wait for tomorrow's service which is also going to be a great one and i will update more on it ya.
xoxo
Tash
The crowd was great and even the officers that check your bags were friendly. Church friends, i went with were awesome too. Really sang to the extend that i cough almost throughout the whole event but the end of the day, i really did enjoyed myself and that what matters the most.
Cant wait for tomorrow's service which is also going to be a great one and i will update more on it ya.
xoxo
Tash
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