Bad feeling

I have been having this bad feeling for days and i think there`s 2 reason to it..

1) Firstly, i think it my relationship with my boyfriend.. i dont know what`s going on with him but everytime he gets drunk, he either call or message nonscense stuff to me and i just dont really like it at all..

Not only that, but i feel i dont know whether i still can commit to this relationship.. Sometimes, i dont know whatever he said, izzit true or just he wants to make me happy.. And he`s already talking about marriage.. i really dont know..

2) Secondly, my family.. what does family mean to me.. It means coming back to somewhere you feel home, safe and you want to come back.. But i dont feel it anymore.. I just dont.. Everytime, after work, i dragged myself home and its for one thing only, SLEEP!! I dont feel that safe, and feeling to go home anymore..

Family do mean alot to me but this family, my family, i dont know where is that feeling.. I envy seeing other people family so close, safe and happy together.. WHY???

WHAT???
IS
HAPPENNING
TO
ME??

WHY??