Problems

I don't know what has happened to me but the last few days, i cry myself to sleep.. I seem to be blamming myslef for all the mistakes i made and i feel soooo useless coz i can't seem to find a sloution to solve it..

I don't know why i lived in a life full of problems.. For me, home is something like where your heart belongs, where you could go to for answers, where you could have peace, where you never wanna leave.. but it doesn't seem like that at all.. It's always noisy or people shouting.. It just never felt like it's home.. It's just feels like a place where i go to sleep or do my work.. I have always dread going home and still am.. I have always admire other people's families.. and just make me wanna be part of them too..

Not only outside but also at work.. I know that i'm slow at catching up in order to learn the cashier but others want me to be fast.. For me, when i do things fast, i tend to make mistakes and even panic coz i may press the wrong button and that worries me A LOT! I know that i'm trying my very best already but i just feel so let down.. Like i keep asking for help and i scared that they will think why i cant get it in my head..

It's just made me feel like i'm stupid and useless.. and is worrying me A LOT! I really don't wanna ask God for help coz there's a saying that, "If God gives you what you ask for, he will take something back like in return." That something is either priceless or precious.. and it has already happened to me and that's why i don't want to HIM for help.. I always think that i could solve it myself but this time, i'm really lost, scared & worried!

lost, scared & worried
Tash